Sunday, January 14, 2007

Pirates of the Eastend ...

"DVD? New films? Not in cinema yet? Only 4 pounds?"

If you have spent anytime in pubs in London you will have heard the above. Sitting there quietly enjoying drinks with friends when all of a sudden someone, mostly a guy, will sidled up to the table, being careful not to be spotted by the landlord, and shove a perfectly fanned set of plastic wrapped, photocopy covered crap in your face.

Yesterday, while on my way to poker night I got off the Central Line at Liverpool Street and went above ground. Not the correct stop for a direct route to Archway, but I required lots of change to make cashing out at the end of the night easier (we're not big spenders). As I rose up on the escalator I spotted in front of me not one, but three of these purveyors of illicit unreleased cinema. This is a most unusual sighting as, like the Olsen Twins of late, you rarely see more than one at once.

I knew who they were, or more importantly what they did, because of two things. Firstly having worked in the area, and therefore drank in the area, for many years I recognised one of them. The other give away was their bags of booty, bursting at the seams.

Right then and there I should have launched into a tirade on the wrongness of their royalty stealing ways, but I couldn't. I was far too distracted by their clothes. Do not fear dear reader, I had not come over all Trinny and Susannah. No, it was the fact that they were in a uniform!

All three of them wore the same hats, same jackets and the same Baurer bags full of illegal DVDs. I would not have been surprised to see a company logo stitched into the back of the Jackets, perhaps a skull and cross-bones with "We ripping you off longtime" underneath it.

Maybe they have a union? Could we one day face the Greater London pirate DVD seller strike? Here's hoping.

p.s. I did quite well at poker coming home £13.50 up on the night. All is well that ends well.

9 comments:

She-ra said...

I must confess, I did a privete Neuuurgghh! at the 'Trinny' line. And the 'we ripping you off long time' line: I can't decide whether that's totally offensive or not. Either way though, it's fucking hilarious!

And a lot of that £13.50 is mine you git.

She-ra

Matt Large said...

Well I did try to guage your reaction to that line at the weekend but you said that anything goes.

I think more of the money was Biko's.

Andrew said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Biko said...

Hey, I only lost £1.50 in the end.

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